Susi

I've asked many times for a sign. But there is none, My ways will end in mystery.

[T Wayne 1010 @twayne1010]

Pasty skin means never having to wear post-it notes again.

[Nikki Solange @10plzz]

Knowing how to love the world:
knowing that it spins, carelessly
out of my hands.

[Susi @hoordew]

See the starling fall from the dogwood tree? You'll be the goddamn death of me.

[Susi @hoordew]

Time to winterize my heart brb

[Longsnuggler @longsnuggler]

Birds fly in V-formation because the one in front has Netflix and the others are trying to watch

[Jeremy Hoch @jejehoch]

When you want to smoke you can ask for a light but you could also use a rope and two sticks. You'd save social interaction that way.

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

I wouldn't say I'm muscular, but my mom says if I get any more buff we're gonna have to buy mediums. Perhaps extra mediums.

[Jenn @Jennuflect]

It's nothing you should worry your pretty little head about, but your ugly normal sized head should be gravely concerned.

[RobotRowboat™ @robotrowboat]

Always give a thumbs up while yawning so deaf people know you’re not screaming.

[Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams]

My hippo's hungry but not hungry, hungry.

[JasonLastname @JasonLastname]

"Danger is my middle name."
~Rodney Field

[Black Lives Matter @badbisque]

please don't make eye contact with me when you see me eating my sandwich in my car

[Schlimp @schlimp]

So why did you move out of the city?

[remembers getting chased out of town by a pack of dogs]

"I wanted a fresh start"

[Jedi Cheesy Grits @JediGigi]

Mom said I should only date "a good man" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat